What is Yours???

What is one thing that compels you? What is the one big thing that is driving your life? Ever sat down and thought about it? Me either....I never actually took the time to sit down and ponder what the moving force behind my actions is. I mean, there's something that empowers, enables, even motivates us right? God...power...money...status...praise...narcissism even? Is it that we are trying to prove something to ourselves? Is it that we are trying to prove something to everyone else? Me? I think it's an irrational fear that I won't add up to anything. Maybe like Atychiphobia...or maybe it's Athazagoraphobia. Whatever phobia it might be, I push myself on the simple fact that I don't want to be a failure and make nothing of my life. I wish it was easier. I wish I wasn't so worried about making myself a winner. But I guess that's how life treats me. I get to sit around and worry why my life is so much tougher than everyone else's. But wait! Is it really harder? If you really think, I have a fairly good life. My parents are still together, I've had some hardships, but nothing too dramatic. I've even been making a little money lately. So why do I still worry about making something of myself? Why not just sail through life unnoticed and unavailable to success?...cuz that's not me! I want to be succesful! I want to make something of myself! But I really don't want to be wealthy. I don't want to be famous. Heck, if I had just enough money to get by, I'd love it! No need for fancy toys or Italian sports cars. Just to live comfortably. Me, a wife, maybe a kid or two., perhaps a small lap dog or chihuahua...Nothing extravagant. But sometimes I feel like I cant motivate myself anymore. In high school, I lived for cross country. Up at 5:45 a.m. every morning doing 7-8 miles of squishing rubber between my feet and the asphalt before anyone else in the world knew where they were. My senior year, the State Meet was on November 9th. My motto that year was 364 days count, only 1 matters. Does that explain how serious I was? 337 consecutive days of running at least 3 miles of more. 215 straight days without a soda...That's how motivated I was. We were running a meet in Seguin about a month before District...BOOM! There's a hole. Foot down, knee sideways, tears flowing. I thought it was over. I could not walk at all. I thought I would never run another day in my life. See, I had already had surgery on that knee once. I could see it all right there in front of me, then it all faded away. The Atychiphobia was creeping in. I had failed. But! I only missed one day of running. By the grace of God, my knee had only slightly been tweeked and after missing only one day of running, I was back on the road. I probably should have taken it easier, but I did three miles two days after messing up my knee. See! POINT MADE! Driving force right there! The State Meet was calling, and I wasn't gonna let up. Even if it meant ruining my knee, I wasn't gonna let myself become a failure. That's enough proof to me that everyone has a point for their lives. There were alot of things cross country taught me. One of them is a concept called "The Time Capsule." The Time Capsule is the amount of time you have left in any certain aspect of life. The Time Capsule of my birthday is 8 months and 11 days. Basically, it's a countdown. The Time Capsule I am looking at right now is 40 days. 40 days until I ship off to BCT (Basic Combat Training). My Capsule is almost up. I've only got that long to get myself ready for a life-altering experience. I've changed the way I look at it. I've already made something of myself. Basic will make that feeling stronger. My Atychiphobia is gone and now it's time for a new life in God, with him driving everything. So now my question has been altered...What drives you?...and why?