A Barrel Full of...Thoughts?

In the course of trying to get myself ready for Basic Training, I realized something...I'm not ready for this yet! Mentally I am, but physically I'm a wreck. RSP has done alot to help me, but it only happens once a month. I really should have been working out all along, but for some reason, I am kind of a slacker. Not really bad, but I just don't like to get up early most of the time, so I really haven't been running like I should have. I've done better lately though. I've been out running every night for the past five days. The only problem, it's not near fast enough....plus my push-ups and sit-ups are too low. It passes the PFT tests, but i just feel like it needs to be better. I am the kind of person that doesn't like to settle. I won't take less than what I know I can do. Like Steve Prefontaine always said, "Anything less than your best is a sacrifice of the gift you've been given." I always feel like what I did in the workout, wasn't enough to make me get to the point I want to be at. I guess to a point, I'm a perfectionist....but I'm not always perfect. I am almost never perfect. Coach Barnet, through the Paavo system, used to define perfection as "doing something right the first time and everytime." Every time?? It takes alot to be perfect. I try. I really do! Sometimes, it just feels like I'll never make it. And yet, I keep trying! I never wanna settle because I know if I settle, I will be like everyone else in the United States who settles. I wanna be Spartan! Doing what others won't, don't, or can't do in spite of the circumstances. Being "Spartan" to reach "Perfection." I wanna do it! And you know what? Ask me when I come back from BCT, and I'll tell you if I reached it...cuz I probably will.