Looking back...

I started listening to some of the older music on my iPod today. Stuff like Caleb Jude Green, Josh Rosenthal, and other acoustic kind of stuff. It made me think about high school and why I'm happy I'm not there anymore. I've moved on. But more than anything, I kinda realized that there were alot of people I didn't like in high school. I don't know why. Guess I just never did...random...

Angel in the Sky

I was sitting at work when I got some bad news. A very good friend of mine got hut. He didn't die, but came very close. As a result, my creative juices started pumping and this is kinda what came out of it. I hope yall like it. I'll have music for it soon.

(verse 1) We were getting to that age where we had so much fun.
We thought that we were cool living life out on the run.
But even with our "age," we couldn't understand.
How sometimes a life can come to such and end.

(verse 2) In a little bitty town, you have your dreams of fame.
Hopes can come and go. It's kind of like a game.
But your friends are always there; the ones that really care.
When you feel the pain, you know that they're still there.

(chorus) To the ones that we've lost, from the ones that are still here,
even though you're gone, we can feel you when you're near.
So many times we didn't get to say goodbye.
But we know you're still around. You're our angel in the sky.

(verse 3) Sometimes in life, you get a burning deep inside.
A call that sometimes scares you. Makes you want to run and hide.
But when the truth comes out, and deep inside you know.
You know what you have to do and it's time for you to go.

(bridge) I'll forever say a toast to the ones that we miss most.
'Til we all meet again, don't let the memory die my friends.
I know it hurts right now, but it'll be better soon.
They're spirits always with you, in every single room.

(chorus) To the ones that we've lost, from the ones that are still here,
even though you're gone, we can feel you when you're near.
So many times we didn't get to say goodbye.
But we know you're still around. You're our angel in the sky.

Deploying...or Ranger!

In the course of events, you realize that everything happens for a reason. You look at the things that happen and you think "Why did it turn out that way?" "I didn't want it that way!" Or how bout, "That's not how it was supposed to happen!" But what if it was? What if that was exactly how everything was planned? A lot of people don't believe what I believe, but I think that everything does happen for a reason. I think that God has a very clear plan and that he sets things up in order. I wanted to deploy, but I realized it isn't where God wants me to be. After going to drill this weekend, I have realized why that is. I was assigned to the M203 range. I understand that we can't always get practice rounds, but you should at least be able to know how to work what you have been assigned. There were some people on the range this weekend that I was really surprised with. They claim that they haven't fired a M203 in almost 15 years. That's a little ridiculous. I know that you don't always get to fire it, but at least know how to work the stinking thing. In the end, I realize that God had other plans. After the whole time, I got word that I am being considered for Ranger school. The best thing is that, if I get my Ranger tab, I have a better chance getting my dream...Special Forces. Ever since I was a little joe, I watched John Wayne and saw him as a Green Beret. Wow! I want do that. I guess I may actually get a chance...God works in amazing ways.

Change...or should I say Hope...

Throughout the course of one's life, you see many things change. You grow up and move to different schools, elementary to jr. high...jr. high to high school. You parents get new jobs and you end up moving to different towns. You meet new people and reunite with old friends. Unfortunately, things are constantly changing in life. Some for good, some for bad. But most of the time, you just gotta roll with the punches and hope that everything goes like it should. You fall in love, fall out of love, then fall back in love with another person. It's just the way things go. My life has been blessed and cursed with many changes. Most of which I have done the most with. Other things, I wish didn't happen. But as a new part of my life starts with every morning, I look back on old things and realized how different things could be, or how amazingly mundane things could have stayed. So, I've decided to take life how it comes and quit worrying about every little detail. Besides, you only live once right?

7 days left. Can you believe it?!

So there's only 7 days left until I leave for Fort Benning, Georgia. I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. It feels like just yesterday I had a month left. I never realized that it would get here as fast as it did. And quite frankly, I don't exactly want to leave. I mean, it's my duty, and I'm uber-excited to get it done with and become a different person, but at the same time, I've realized things in the past week or so that have made me realize that I'm gonna miss a whole lot while I'm gone. School was rough the first two semesters, and I was nervous about going back to class, but I hung out with everyone the other day and it is the last time I will really be able to until mid-December. I don't want to miss all of that. I don't want to have to be doing pushups and situps and running and shooting while everyone else is hanging out at the river and hangin out at late night parties and spending hours just being lazy. And I'm gonna miss my girls. They keep me sane and keep me on my toes. And it never fails that things start to happen right before I leave. It sucks! We realize things that should have been realized long ago. But I guess life is gonna be better when I get done with basic. It's gonna be more structured...I just don't wanna lose myself, ya know? I still wanna be Grant Martin when I get back...just more disclipined.

well...I just don't know anymore.

I've thought deep lately and I've come to the conclusion that women are really hard to understand. I thought I had them slightly figured out, but they all just surprise me. Guys fall into a small number of categories. It's easier to figure guys out. Most of the time, when you meet a guy, you can tell if you are going to get along with them or not. Girls though...HA! That's funny. Figuring girls out is the hardest thing I have ever done. I try. I really do, but it's ridiculous. I have never had so much trouble with anything in my life! And it's not like I'm not trying. I just feel like it doesn't help. No matter how hard I try, it always feels like I fall short of getting the whole picture. Ya know. You can know a girl all your life, spend countless hours just chillin at their house, basically grow up with her, and still not truly know the girl. But I guess there are some things you will never be able to figure out huh?

Army and Failure....

So, I really love the Army. I love drilling and just overall being a soldier...However, for the first time since I have been in the Army, I failed at something. I took a test called Stripes for Skills. Basically, it's a test to see you 1) you are physically fit for a promotion, and 2) sees if you know enough about the army to be promoted. Physically, I was only 4 push-ups away from doing what I needed. I wasn't very happy with myself. Only 4 freaking push-ups. All through high school I gave everything I had in every sport that I had, and I was satisfied with that. But for once, I wasn't happy with what I did. I was shocked that I wasn't happy with myself. I gave everything I had in my body, and I still wasn't happy. Wow! I have never felt this bad in my life. I wanna be happy about it, but it's not what I wanted. I would have been PFC! I would have gone to basic training with the highest rank possible...but no. Unless I can get it done on Saturday, I am going in as a Private. Not First Class. GRRRRRR!!!