Change...or should I say Hope...

Throughout the course of one's life, you see many things change. You grow up and move to different schools, elementary to jr. high...jr. high to high school. You parents get new jobs and you end up moving to different towns. You meet new people and reunite with old friends. Unfortunately, things are constantly changing in life. Some for good, some for bad. But most of the time, you just gotta roll with the punches and hope that everything goes like it should. You fall in love, fall out of love, then fall back in love with another person. It's just the way things go. My life has been blessed and cursed with many changes. Most of which I have done the most with. Other things, I wish didn't happen. But as a new part of my life starts with every morning, I look back on old things and realized how different things could be, or how amazingly mundane things could have stayed. So, I've decided to take life how it comes and quit worrying about every little detail. Besides, you only live once right?

7 days left. Can you believe it?!

So there's only 7 days left until I leave for Fort Benning, Georgia. I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. It feels like just yesterday I had a month left. I never realized that it would get here as fast as it did. And quite frankly, I don't exactly want to leave. I mean, it's my duty, and I'm uber-excited to get it done with and become a different person, but at the same time, I've realized things in the past week or so that have made me realize that I'm gonna miss a whole lot while I'm gone. School was rough the first two semesters, and I was nervous about going back to class, but I hung out with everyone the other day and it is the last time I will really be able to until mid-December. I don't want to miss all of that. I don't want to have to be doing pushups and situps and running and shooting while everyone else is hanging out at the river and hangin out at late night parties and spending hours just being lazy. And I'm gonna miss my girls. They keep me sane and keep me on my toes. And it never fails that things start to happen right before I leave. It sucks! We realize things that should have been realized long ago. But I guess life is gonna be better when I get done with basic. It's gonna be more structured...I just don't wanna lose myself, ya know? I still wanna be Grant Martin when I get back...just more disclipined.

well...I just don't know anymore.

I've thought deep lately and I've come to the conclusion that women are really hard to understand. I thought I had them slightly figured out, but they all just surprise me. Guys fall into a small number of categories. It's easier to figure guys out. Most of the time, when you meet a guy, you can tell if you are going to get along with them or not. Girls though...HA! That's funny. Figuring girls out is the hardest thing I have ever done. I try. I really do, but it's ridiculous. I have never had so much trouble with anything in my life! And it's not like I'm not trying. I just feel like it doesn't help. No matter how hard I try, it always feels like I fall short of getting the whole picture. Ya know. You can know a girl all your life, spend countless hours just chillin at their house, basically grow up with her, and still not truly know the girl. But I guess there are some things you will never be able to figure out huh?

Army and Failure....

So, I really love the Army. I love drilling and just overall being a soldier...However, for the first time since I have been in the Army, I failed at something. I took a test called Stripes for Skills. Basically, it's a test to see you 1) you are physically fit for a promotion, and 2) sees if you know enough about the army to be promoted. Physically, I was only 4 push-ups away from doing what I needed. I wasn't very happy with myself. Only 4 freaking push-ups. All through high school I gave everything I had in every sport that I had, and I was satisfied with that. But for once, I wasn't happy with what I did. I was shocked that I wasn't happy with myself. I gave everything I had in my body, and I still wasn't happy. Wow! I have never felt this bad in my life. I wanna be happy about it, but it's not what I wanted. I would have been PFC! I would have gone to basic training with the highest rank possible...but no. Unless I can get it done on Saturday, I am going in as a Private. Not First Class. GRRRRRR!!!

The Military Life

So let me tell yall, the military is pretty sweet. You should all join. I can hook yall up. You get free clothes, free weapons, free food, lodging, and the salary is pretty sweet...Did anyone actually believe a word I just said? Do people actually think that the military is an easy job? I heard a guy tell me the other day that the military should not get any discounts and that we should actually have to pay for extra things...Seriously? Should we really have to pay to protect him? I don't think so! Why should we have to buy all of our own equipment to protect people. It's not a very smart idea. Is the fact that we go to different countries and get shot at not enough? Is it not enough that alot of us die protecting your freedom? In all honesty, I think the price we pay is enough. We give up numerous hours of our own free time and time that we could spend with our family to go and protect America. So, next time you decide to badmouth the military, look at the flag. Look at the tombstones that soldiers are buried under. Look at the families that are left without fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters. Just remember, war is not a fun thing at all. When the conflict is over and all is well, be thankful that WE chose to go through hell!

A Barrel Full of...Thoughts?

In the course of trying to get myself ready for Basic Training, I realized something...I'm not ready for this yet! Mentally I am, but physically I'm a wreck. RSP has done alot to help me, but it only happens once a month. I really should have been working out all along, but for some reason, I am kind of a slacker. Not really bad, but I just don't like to get up early most of the time, so I really haven't been running like I should have. I've done better lately though. I've been out running every night for the past five days. The only problem, it's not near fast enough....plus my push-ups and sit-ups are too low. It passes the PFT tests, but i just feel like it needs to be better. I am the kind of person that doesn't like to settle. I won't take less than what I know I can do. Like Steve Prefontaine always said, "Anything less than your best is a sacrifice of the gift you've been given." I always feel like what I did in the workout, wasn't enough to make me get to the point I want to be at. I guess to a point, I'm a perfectionist....but I'm not always perfect. I am almost never perfect. Coach Barnet, through the Paavo system, used to define perfection as "doing something right the first time and everytime." Every time?? It takes alot to be perfect. I try. I really do! Sometimes, it just feels like I'll never make it. And yet, I keep trying! I never wanna settle because I know if I settle, I will be like everyone else in the United States who settles. I wanna be Spartan! Doing what others won't, don't, or can't do in spite of the circumstances. Being "Spartan" to reach "Perfection." I wanna do it! And you know what? Ask me when I come back from BCT, and I'll tell you if I reached it...cuz I probably will.

Tokyo anyone?

So, my little brother came back from Tokyo today. I was completely pumped to see him too. Before I go too far, let me tell you a few stats about Tokyo. Tokyo is the most populous city in the world. There are a little over 120 million people living in an area about the size of Houston, Texas. Less that one half of 1%, in other words less than .5%, of people are christians. The biggest religion there is a Buddhist/Shinto mix. As we were looking at his pictures, he was telling us about the day that his group went to a Buddhist/Shinto temple. Being christian missionaries, they started to do their thing; prayer walking, talking with people, a little singing. While they were doing all this, my brother said that he sat off to the side of a shrine and read Psalm 24. Especially verse 9: "Lift up your heads, O you gates; lift them up, you ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in." I didn't really think much about that verse until I later read a blog from a friend of mine who was at the temple with him. She said, "I've never felt Satan's hand pushing so hard on us." You see, as the group was working in the Lord, there were police officers who asked the group to leave the premises...Wow. My little brother prayed that simple verse, and not very long after that, they got kicked out. Honestly, I think Lauren was right. Satan has a very strong hold on that city and he has no interest in losing it. But he should know something about the people that were on that mission trip...They'll never back down! Those people paid so much to get on that plane and fly 14 hours to a city that God's light is hardly shining. They have done amazing work already over there, and I know that there will be a few that will go back...I know David has already told me that he wants to go back. Why not you. Why don't you go?...I wish I could.